Thursday, 23 June 2011

Half-Life 1950

We've a few old tools lying about, some of which are very odd-looking to a city boy like myself. One looked so much more like a lethal weapon than a farm implement, it put me in mind of Half-Life, and wondering what it might look like if set in an early 20th Century German farm. Bear with me for this intermission :)

The classic, and my tool of choice for the last few months. Something to set the tone. If in doubt, crowbar it.

This was hiding at the back of the barn. Might need a little sharpening, but the weight alone would carry it through alien scum (or the Marder).

An upgrade to a two-pronged hay fork would give better reach, but you'd need to be accurate.

Four have to be better than two! Skewer those headcrabs! Or muck out horse shit.

We have about five of these. Lots of prongs, but with rounded tips. Great for digging out beets (it's a Sechszinkige Rübengabel), but not sure how confident I'd be heading into that unlit cellar armed only with this.

This looks like some sort of vorpal weapon. You'd expect lightning to be shooting from it at least, but it's a Zweizinkiger Rübenheber, for digging out beets. It's heavy! They don't make them like they used to!

To be honest, this has to be one of the top tools in the armoury. That blade would actually bend pretty quickly, but really, if Death uses this as a tool of choice, surely that counts as something?